The Coventry Blaze (unofficial) Bluffers Guide to the next few days

Lets face it, most of us don’t know what the heck we are going to watch for the next few days  We know its hockey and we know there are beers. That will do us. Oh, and its cheap. Very, very cheap.

There are only 2 people in the country that have done any proper homework on our opposition, Chuck Weber and Craig “The Oracle” Summerton.  Therefore welcome to the Coventry Blaze (Unoffical) Bluffers Guide to the next few days

Day 1, Friday, Face off 3.30pm, opposition, Dunarea Galati (Romania)

Its a good face off time, which means the Blaze faithful shouldn’t be too plastered, but will be well on their way.  Will Choccy get locked in his hotel room again?  Probably.  I am sure there is more to that story, than we have been told.  After we have won, (which we will) the Blue Army can go and get smashed on 7 quid.

This will also be the first chance to celebrate Andy “The Gaffer” Buxton’s 50th Birthday.  However, there is more chance of me going on the ‘Brit pack’ line with Ash and Russ than ‘Buxy’ buying a round of drinks to celebrate, so don’t get to excited.  Just as we are leaving for the game we are startled to hear Dave Simms has been invited to Paul Wheeler’s Christmas Day celebrations

Bluffers Bit

Dunarea’s motley crew have an average age of 29.  203 lbs, 6’3 forward Sergei Chernenko, 31 years of age, Ukranian born, averages a goal a game for them and will be their main threat.

Their tough guy is Atilla Goga, and is brother to the American singer “Lady”. When I say tough he leads the PIMs this season for them, so I have lazily connected that to him being a bit of a goon.  I have no idea if this is correct, if its not then please don’t sue me, there is nothing left in the pot after this £140 train ride to Stansted Airport.  Ross Venus, get ready for a bit of “put them up action” just in case.

Prediction, Blaze 6-0 win

Day 2, Saturday, Face off 3.30pm, opposition, HC Partizan Belgrade

Following Friday nights celebration party, and still startled by the news filtering through that Paul Wheeler and Simmsey have agreed on Xmas Dinner after the Queens Speech as opposed to before, we again settle down for a game of Hockey Sur Glace.  Just before we go to the game there will be a game of “drawing straws” to see who has to go to the local Police station to bail Remy Taylor out.

Bluffers bit

Now these boys its fair to say, don’t mind a bit of the rough stuff.  In the 3 qualifying Continental Cup games, 5 of them have clocked over up over 30 minutes in penalties each.  The Serbian captain Marko Milovanovic looks decent and is goal a game merchant, look out for him.

Prediction, Blaze 7-2 win

Day 3, Sunday Face off  7.30pm, opposition, GKS Tychy

Now by this time, there are some very tired and weary looking faces and bodies.  Remy Taylor has drank every drop of Vodka in Poland and has been deported back to UK.  Choccy has been stripped naked and tied to a lamp post for yelling 50-50 for two days solid.  Andy Buxton is by now denying it was ever actually his birthday after all, and new filters through that Simmsey and Paul Wheeler are contemplating a New Years break to Tuscany together.

Bluffers Bit

Well, as we all know, this is the potentially sticky one.  The locals are a bit “nutty” by all accounts and their team can play decent hockey.  They top their league with 15 wins in 19 games.   Offensively they will be a threat, with the most goals in the division, and being the only team so far this season to score over hundred goals (104)

A team which is strangely made up of nearly all left hand shots – only 3 shoot right handed and they all play D.
Their squad is made mostly of Polish guys apart from 4 Czech, and 2 Russians.  29 year old Mikolaj Lopuski is top scorer with 12 goals in 18 games also 32 International caps – Lopuski recently scored his 300th Polish league point.  Maxim Kartoshkin is the penalty minute leader, but nothing to worry about here, we have got Boris and Ross Venus to look after him.

Prediction: Blaze win 4-1

Thanks for reading, hope everyone has fun.  See you all out there.  No animals were injured in the writing of this blog.

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